Sunday, August 31, 2008

confession

as i sit down to write tonight, i must admit that i write in anger. i do not want to have an angry heart nor do really know why i feel anger right now. it is just there.

what a change 1 week can make...or even 1 day. it is weird how life just keeps going on around you. for me, it feels like slow motion. i can't imagine how it goes for dad or especially for cathy.

i tried to pray along side of my father tonight. it was so frustrating. it made me wonder why i say i am a Christian. i don't know how to pray. it felt clunky and fake. authentic prayer is hard but i don't feel like it should be.

once again, i will go to bed feeling like i have not done enough...

3 comments:

Nicki said...

Lori,

I was so happy to read your response to my last blog post until I read yours....
I am so sorry to hear about your dad, I can't say I know what you are going through, all I can say is turn to God!! I can do all things through Him!!

Kevin said...

Lori, Your heart speaks without you working at it. Although I dont know about prayer, You have always been one to know what to say. You know what to say, your just trying to work at it to hard with your feelings. Dont compose it, just feel it and think it, and it will make its way to its intended destination. I love you and wish I could do more. . .

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